Impossible, Embarrassing Love
by Sweet Possum
Summary: Kyle is in love with a girl who he can never get together with. oneshot.


**Hi everyone! I decided to do a one-shot story, because it's based on something real...but I can't say exactly who and what, because it will give too much of my life away. **

**But anyways, I'm working on my current story, Jews Only. And I will get back to that. I just had to get this one shot off finished. So I'll just get on with it!**

**By the way, this is Kyle's P.O.V.**

**Embarrassing, Impossible Love**

Stan, my best friend. He has a girlfriend. They have been together for I don't know how long. Wendy's a nice, smart girl. She's mature also, perfect type for Stan. Stan's very mature for his age.

Kenny is..well...you know..perverted. That's right, he's a pervert. Eight years old, and he's a pervert. He would look at any parts on a girl, and hit on them. But like that bothers me. He's my friend, and I respect whatever he does. He can do what he wants.

Cartman, like he wants a girlfriend. But I don't think it's because he's not interested in girls. I just think it's because he's not straight. Yes, sometimes I think he's gay. Maybe he would like a girl, but who knows. He's a gay fat boy.

But me, Kyle Broflovski. I'm not that type. Girls don't interest me, and I'm not gay. I don't feel bad that I don't have a girl or a crush either. Sure, maybe I felt left out time from time whenever Stan would leave me to go hang out with Wendy. But really, I didn't need a girlfriend.

I didn't think that was true, until we had Buddy Day. It was a lame title, because it's not specific enough. But anyways, it meant that we were assigned to a 9th grade buddy, just to see what it was like. Besides, the 9th graders loved the kids. I guess 'kids' meant me and my friends, and the rest of the third grade class.

Mr. Mackey read the list of names for who was going to buddy up with who. Stan got paired up with a football player named Scott. He was lucky, since Stan actually played football, too. They could have a lot in common. Kenny went with some nerd. Poor guy. He'll probably have to do science experiments, instead of looking at his Playboy magazine. Cartman was assigned to a guy who seemed really...tough. He looked mean, but what did I know. But Cartman needed it. He needed a kick in the butt. He can't even stand one punch in the arm. What a wuss.

"Mmkay, Kyle," Mr. Mackey said, as I looked at him, "you're going with Lisa."

Lisa? Who was Lisa? Wait. That's a girl's name! Why should I go with a girl? Most of the other boys got a boy. Boys with boys, and girls with girls. That's how it should be. But apparently it wasn't. I looked at the girl standing there, as I got out of my seat. She actually looked nice, and very pretty. She probably would be a good buddy. But still, I could get along with a boy just the same. And I left the classroom with her.

"So what are you into?" She asked me.

"Well, I really like music. Music's my life. And basketball."

"I like music." We continued walking, and finally left the school. "I thought we could go get some ice cream."

It was much better than sitting in the classroom listening to Mr. Garrison. "That sounds good." So we went to get some ice cream.

We both got the same flavor, which was a Twist with sprinkles on top. It was so weird that we liked the same flavor. We went over at a bench and sat down.

"So tell me, Kyle," Lisa started, "what kind of music to you like?"

"I like hip-hop a lot. More than the other music I really like."

"Play any instruments?"

"I play a violin and recorder, and also guitar."

"Oh, I love guitar. You should play it for me some time."

"For you?"

"Yeah. I would really like to see how well you play."

What a nice girl.

"You play any video games?"

"Yes. Stan and I always buy them together."

"Stan's your friend?"

"My best friend."

"Well, that's really cool. I love video games, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, they're a lot of fun. And I'm really good at them."

What a fun girl.

After a bit, we went back to the school, just in time for recess. I would go play footballs with the other boys, but it seemed like they were off with their buddies. So I went over to talk to Lisa.

"Hey, find anything to do?" She asked.

"I thought I would do my homework."

"You need any help?"

"Well, I usually do well with homework." Why did I have to tell her that? Why would she care?

"Oh, that's good."

"But I'm still having a little trouble with my math."

"Go get it. I can help you."

So I did. I got my math and brought it outside. Lisa began explaining the math to me. It was amazing. She knew everything! What a smart girl.

And something strange happened. I felt something, but I didn't know what. But I couldn't stop looking at her. She was very pretty, and she was just so amazing! Oh no. It couldn't be! Not I felt nervous. So nervous I didn't know what to say next. But I thought of something. Something weird. But I said it anyways. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

She looked at me curiously. "A boyfriend? Why ask that?"

"It's just...good conversation."

Lisa laughed. "No, I don't. Most of my friends do. But not me."

BINGO!

In the afternoon, our class and buddies were all gonna do some fun game activity. A relay race. And we had to pair up with our buddies. Me with Lisa. Me and Lisa. It would be great. She's a fun girl. No girl would be any funner. Why am I thinking this? This is so embarrassing!

Before it was time to start, I just thought of something. This would be the last time I could see her. I was only spending a day with her, and after this race, it was done. And she didn't know anything. I felt our friendship was very important. But I didn't know how she felt. If I told her, maybe she wouldn't go away. Maybe she would call me, and maybe we would hang out more. And maybe, just maybe...

"Kyle, are you ready to start?" Lisa asked.

I looked at her nervously. "Umm...ummm..." I looked over, and sat that Stan was only five feet away from me, talking to his buddy. "Well, Lisa, I have something to tell you, but I'm just a little embarrassed to say."

"What do you mean, Kyle?"

"Well, I just feel embarrassed if Stan heard me."

"What is it? Do you wanna go over there?"

"Uhh...ok." So I walked over with Lisa, where there was nobody in sight.

"Ok, what is it?"

"Well, it's something very embarrassing."

"What is it?"

"Well, I just feel...I like you."

She looked confused. "What?"

"I like you. I really like you. But it's really embarrassing."

She looked freaked out. "Umm...we better go start the race." She walked off.

I felt horrible. What was I thinking?! She probably never wants to see me again! I'm so stupid for saying that! I'm so stupid for even thinking that! I finally walked over.

When I got to Lisa, I could tell she was heartbroken. Why was she? Was she scared? Did she not like me? We eventually started the race, but we didn't win. We actually came in last. And it was because we were both hurt.

And after the race, I knew that Lisa was telling. She was telling her friends about me. What do you expect? An eight year old having a crush on a 14 year old. It's just not natural. But it was embarrassing. And I even let her know that after she told her friends. She didn't say anything, though.

Stan could tell I was upset later that day. But I didn't say anything. Nothing. He tried to cheer me up, even though he didn't know what was going on, but nothing worked. So he gave up, and left.

Nothing would cheer me up. Nothing.

The next day when I opened my locker, I found a note. A note! Who would give me a note? I curiously opened it, and started reading.

_Dear Kyle,_

_I'm sorry about what happened. I'm sorry you got embarrassed. But don't be. Because it's a natural thing. _

_I think you're a great guy, Kyle. You're smart, cool, and very sweet. And you are very special to me. Very. And I guess you think I'm special, too. But you are too young for me, Kyle. I'm sorry. But it's true. There will be a girl your age that you will like. I promise._

_Your friend,_

_Lisa._

I doubt it. I'm not the type for a girl. But Lisa was different. Lisa seemed perfect. And if Lisa wasn't the one, nobody was. I sighed as I folded the paper, and stuffed it in my pocket. I felt there would be no girl I would like better than Lisa. Nobody.

The South Park Spelling Bee was coming up soon, and I was in it. I was a pretty good speller. But I didn't think I would do great, because I am just too sad. There's no way I can do it. No way. And I know that Cartman is gonna brag, pretending that he is great at spelling, even though he is horrible at it.

When the Spelling Bee finally came, I sat there nervously, wondering what would happened. I'm afraid I won't do well at all. But...that's not gonna stop me. Nothing should stop me from doing a great job in school.

"Alright everyone," the mayor started, "welcome to the 15th Annual South Park Spelling Bee! This should be interesting. We have with us 12 of the brightest spellers from South Park Elementary!"

"Kyle, Kyle, he's our man. If he can't win it..." I heard Stan's Uncle Jimbo shout. He was cheering for me. That helped a little. But I'm still scared I will do a crappy job.

Then I hear my dad. "You bet money on my son to win?!"

Then I heard Jimbo say something about betting on the Jews. I'm surprised that my dad is angry about Jimbo betting on me. I mean, my dad has a gambling problem himself. Yeah sure, betting on his own son can be bad, but still. He'd probably do the same thing if he were to win 1 million dollars.

"You're going down!" Cartman bragged at me.

I then grew angry. "Shut up! Everyone knows I can spell better than you."

"Yeah, well this year I have a secret weapon!"

I don't believe anything that fat boy says. Now I feel very competitive. It's weird, I was sad, now I feel I'm really in the spelling mood. I am a great speller, and nothing can stop me from that.

"And joining us this year," the mayor continued, "are two home-schooled children, Rebecca and Mark Cotswolds!"

Huh?

Cartman than questioned who they where, and I could here Jimbo getting angry about the idea of home-schooled children being in a public school spelling me. What was a home-schooled kid anyways?

"What's a home-schooled kid?" I asked Stan.

"I don't know dude," Stan replied, "I've never seem them before."

And the mayor started the spelling be. "Our first contestant is Mark Cotswolds, from home school. Alright, Mark. Your word is _conscientious._"

"What?!" Cartman cries, asking what the word means.

"Conscientious," Mark started. "May I have the definition, please?"

"Closely attentive to details; careful," the mayor replied.

"Conscientious. Could you use it in a sentence, please?"

"Mary's analysis of the spreadsheet was...conscientious."

"Conscientious." And Mark went away spelling the word.

"Holy crap!" I hear Cartman cry, shocked that the home-schooled kid spelled it right. And then it was Cartman's turn. As if I care.

After a long while of the spelling me, I was the only remaining kid left of South Park Elementary, and also the two home-schooled kids. I have to win this. I have to win this.

"Alright," the mayor said, "we're down to just three finalists. First up is Rebecca. Rebecca, your word is _littoral._"

"Littoral," she said nervously. "Definition, please?"

"Having to do with a lake or ocean?"

"Will you please use it in a sentence?"

"Gary was most interested in the littoral features of Michigan."

She still looked nervous, but spelled the word confidentially. "L-I-T-T-O-R-A-L."

"Correct!"

Woe, what a smart girl! "Wow!" I exclaim to myself.

"Good job, honey."

She spelled that word right! That's amazing! I can't believe it!

"Kyle's next. Kyle, you're word is _krocsyldiphithic."_

"What?!"

"Krocsyldiphithic."

"Definition?"

"Something that has krocsyldiphithic-like quality."

"Uh, could you use it in a sentence?"

"Certainly. Krocsyldiphithic is a hard word to spell."

"You can do it, kid!" I hear Jimbo cry.

I try hard to spell it. I'm a great speller, right? "C.."

_BEEP!_

I loose! I loose, I loose, I loose! I can't believe it! I tried so hard to win this, and I blew it. But...I'm smart. And...that girl Ah! What's her name again?

After school, Stan and Cartman are talking about how smart the home-schooled kids are. They ARE smart.

I had to know that girl's name. So I walked up to her to ask. "What's your name?" I asked as kindly as possible.

She seemed nervous. "Guh, what's in a name?" And she walked away with her parents and brother.

"Wooww." She's amazing! 'What's in a name?' That's Shakespear! I know it is! What a smart girl!

And that's when something happened. Some feeling came. A feeling that I had once before. For another girl. Her name was Lisa, right? But...wow. That home-schooled girl. She's pretty and smart! Very smart. I had to talk to her.

And that's what I did. I talked to her. Well, I only said "hi". But hey, it's so embarrassing! Her name is Rebecca, though.

Then one night I had to share her my feelings. No matter how embarrassing it is. I had to. She had to know what I thought of her. So I came to her house, and brought my guitar. My guitar. Lisa wanted me to play for her, and I never got a chance. But...Rebecca...now I'm playing for her. I sang her a song on how pretty she is..

Rebecca. A pretty and smart girl I can talk to.

Rebecca. A pretty and smart girl I can play doctor with. No, not the bad kind of doctor game.

Rebecca. A pretty and smart girl I can kiss.

Lisa, she's impossible to do that kind of stuff with. And it's embarrassing. But Rebecca. I can do stuff with her. And now...possible, and not embarrassing anymore.

**THE END**

**ok, so yeah. Basically the whole Rebecca thing is showing that you really can find somebody you love even though you think you can't.**

**I hope this didn't waste your time. I just had to get this story off my chest. Please review!**


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